Poo – focus on the positive!

Give me a medal – my child has not done a poo in a nappy for months.  Since she was 5 months old she would give you that look.  A wink almost. To let you know what was coming.  She is sill in nappies at 20 months (for the pesky wetness) but she is so regular that toilet training has become a daily pleasure – if you will – along with walks and tummy time.  But I’m not just one of those mothers that MUST tell you about their child’s bowel movements … well I am actually but there is more to the story!

My daughter, Charlotte, has some pretty serious developmental delays due to seizures.  Kaz Cooke , was once a source of comfort to me (especially as a teenager) and suddenly her descriptions of normal baby development were affronting and scary!  There was a disclaimer that these rates of development varied but surely not in every single area except poo!

Everything becomes a little more sketchy when you find out that your child has seizures for unknown reasons.  The tests upon tests that don’t seem to give you too much more information.  The drugs upon drugs end up like a cocktail that would put anyone off their food.  The doctors visits and the specialist scene want the same story you gave the last one and you hope you don’t forget that time she did this or that! What did I say that was irrelevant? What did I say that made them write on the record? Was that a twitch in their eye?

Things seem to have settled down a lot since those first few months of meetings and greetings with medical personel.

Seizures have stopped.

Dosage seems right.

Jobs have been got.

There’s more sleeping at night.

But still there aren’t any real answers about how all this occurred.  Now the next wave of specialists are waiting in the wings to assess Charlotte’s walking, talking, moving and grooving  inability.  Kaz’s poor neglected developmental guide book never gets a look in anymore.  Especially as 18 months + includes walking, understanding the purpose of objects, throwing balls, climbing, intentionally pulling faces, understanding directions,  using simple sentences, copying sounds and actions, or having any kind of consistent verbal communication. Among all of these things that Charlotte can’t do I like to take the time to focus on the positive.  One of those positives just happens to be eating more solids, swallowing, digesting, holding, waiting, making a face at mummy, getting put onto the toilet and doing a poo!

So give her a medal too … and tell Kaz Cooke I still love her!

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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by mummytiff on May 24, 2009 at 1:59 am

    I think you both deserve a medal! Poo is a big thing and you should talk about it! Like you though I’m not a big talker about my kids bowel habits – their lack of slumber skills maybe, but their poos not so much!

    Charlotte sounds just divine. I think that every single child needs to be celebrated for what they CAN do and focussing on that helps every child learn more skills more efficiently too – skills that are appropriate for them, not skills that “should” be learnt as per some book/textbook.

    Not that your post was specifically about this but I am SO not a Kaz Cooke fan! I was given one of her books when I was pregnant for the first time and in a very judgemental fashion I recall thinking “why did you even bother to have a child if everything about pregnancy and childbirth is so hideous and such hard work”. Maybe I have judged her prematurely but I haven’t read anything else of hers since!

    Reply

    • Posted by plahski on May 24, 2009 at 11:22 am

      I met Kaz Cooke just after I had Charlotte and got her to sign all of my books (pregnancy, development, teen angst, and a book for Charlotte)… hehe. That was before we knew anything about Charlie’s seizures and I remember getting to 3 months and freaking out and thinking “maybe this book was printed wrong!” hehe.

      I really love ‘The Terrible Underpants’ though and her books for teenage girls! I think that any book about child development would have made my head spin back then when I didn’t know what was going on! She was lovely when I met her she was launching her newest book and there was a young boy in the crowd that kept yelling out “adults think it’s funny when it’s NOT!” and crying whenever she made a joke and everyone would laugh! He had obviously had a big day and it was dinner time. She was really nice about it even though it was really hard for her to finish her talk.

      Reply

  2. Thanks, Plahski. I think you’re so right – when we concentrate on the negative it just gets harder and harder and you spiral down. I can’t remember where I got it from, but I think of it as taking the small victories.

    I’m in awe of any parent of a child with disabilities or a medical condition. I find parenting hard enough as it is. Have you seen this story about a child with Trisomy 21? http://www.ctdownsyndrome.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=24&Itemid=259 When I read that it really put it into focus for me what it must be like, the good as well as the bad.

    Reply

  3. Posted by plahski on May 24, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Thanks for that link Deb!

    It’s a good analogy – I think you could add to it that you always save up to go to Italy (by giving your child the chance to reach their full potential.)

    Reply

  4. Posted by starmomi on July 13, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    that is very impressive! One of the bane’s of motherhood (for me) is cleaning poo-ey nappies, so I think it’s fantastic that you’ve managed to avoid that for so long!!

    Reply

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